My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
