I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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