your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
