My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize