smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
