guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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