I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
