At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize