just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
