Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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