I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
