I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
