Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
