Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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