am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
