i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize