a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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