Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He is an equal opportunity slut.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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