It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
