Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
