i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
