my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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