Plan B is the new Plan A
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
