so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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