oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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