is your mom at the bar?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
