All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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