did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
