You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
