dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
