There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I still have a little drunk in my system
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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