Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
