census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
