Don't you send me to vm
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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