I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
