I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
