whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize