also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize