my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
