I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
