You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
