Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
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I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
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I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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