can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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