I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
