You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
