no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
