Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
