I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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