the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
