Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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