I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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