I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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