Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Did I show you my penis last night?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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