when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
