This is not my ceiling
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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