I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize