i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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