I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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