Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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