he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
