So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
