My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
